Epic gospels: A life less peggy.

::my::journal::drawing board::fickle homepage::

Vintaged Life:

 
sex on a beach ball Monday, September 4, 2006 12:12 a.m.

hey guys,
i think i might retire from peggy.pitas.com. it's just agh. anyway i'm going to try to still blog but consolidate my shit onto either a book or on yet another blog site that doesn't require html.
I've moved to:
http://letterstomae.multiply.com/journal
I might still use this pita but i doubt it... :-(

it still works!! Wednesday, August 9, 2006 01:54 p.m.

holy shit! i'm still alive!
Do i still remember html?
hell no!
but! i'm going away on a trip to GREECE and when i come back.... immmagonnastartblogginagainaganagainagaiagnaagain!

who the eff is peggy anyway?! Tuesday, December 20, 2005 11:38 a.m.

There's no way in hell i'm going to write an entire entry cataloguing the last 3 months. I've been through hell and back and now i'm the devil (moreso).
When i look at the amount of things that has happened within the first semester, it looks like a mountain!
ONWARD HO!

adventures in smarmyland Wednesday, September 7, 2005 09:22 p.m.

Well the first official day of classes wasn't so bad. I thought i could escape the awkward 'get to know your neighbor games' unfortunately in the tutorial our T.A. tricked us into doing several of them. But on the plus side i know a few people now. I had a fairly friendly conversation with this skater/sid vicious punk guy who sat beside me in the lecture and across from me at the tutorial. I also had an adventure getting lost looking for the bookstore with the girl who sat adjacent to me at the tutorial.
Coincidentally both of them had previously spent one year in another school realizing they hated it and then applying to OCAD. smart kids. I however just had to finish what i started.
For some reason, OCAD houses a large majority of Koreans. I'm not exaggerating in the slightest, probably 3 out of 5 Asians there are Korean. The aforementioned girl asked me where I was from (fully knowing what she meant) i told her "burlington" and then eventually she asked me my background. Haha so typical amongst us to inquire these things.

Smarmy Week pt.2 Tuesday, September 6, 2005 10:05 p.m.

I feel like a huge loser. It's awkward. I just want to get through this week:
A. haven't rapidly made new friends. Which I know sounds unrealistic but it's disappointing. it's funny to see all the groups of people who applied to ocad together.
B. i can't stand the way the majority of the people dress (mostly pseudo hipster style/indie rock look/contrived/etc.)
C. I destroyed my cell phone. It fell out of my bag when i got out to check my parking job at the GO station. Not realizing this i got back into my car and realigned my car. After the orientation I got back to find one sadly crushed barely used 2-yr old silver flip phone looking very scratched. I can still use it and the receiver/earpiece is all functioning perfectly, i just can't use the LCD display. I don't want to buy a new phone but i'll have to in a month or so... I just know it's going to be a major hassle to transfer my number over and ugh.
Wednesday, then Thursday and finally Friday i'll be off and downtown to see my newborn nephew and help my sister with cooking and maintaining her sanity.

THE END. Monday, September 5, 2005 10:40 p.m.

I have a massive photo entry coming up summing up the last 30+ days.
Tomorrow is the beginning of the school orientation week. Yes, my ever amazing always fascinating and sometimes entertaining life is continuing off where i last left it before i segued off into the mini-series hit: Life in Minutia: The Cubicle Chronicles.
hahaha. It really doesn't seem like yesterday that i was cursing my idiotic penis faced ex-manager, Fred Babbie. Or the incident with Camille "the cunt" Baldeo. Because it wasn't.
Anyway, that overrun anecdote two years of my life has finally ended.
OPEN THE FLOODGATES TO THE SEA OF SMARM: LOVE WEEK BEGINS TOMORROW.
2 days a go-go. Wednesday, July 27, 2005 09:41 p.m.

Blink twice. Why? Because after that, the disgruntled-office-worker chapter of my life will have hopefully closed forever.
Today Ruth (aka sugar mama) bought pizza for the entire department in honor of me leaving. They also bought two cakes (the department, not ruth) for me, another girl who is leaving after me and another woman who is leaving for her maternity leave in a week. So first i'm going, then the pregnant lady and then that other girl that nobody really knows.
I received a card from the department, the card was so packed with signatures and notes that some of my friends had to write on the backside. I also got a metal cd container emblazoned with the company logo. Cheesy I know, but i figure i can always use one of those things. (they're just lucky that Ruth did all of this otherwise it would've been really lacking..)
I brought my camera and snapped one or two photos, nothing major. I had to give a mini speech, surprisingly i was a bit nervous... I said that i was 'surprised' but everyone saw through that and i received a big "yeahhhh riiight!". I thanked everyone and said that it was a really great learning experience working there. Which is no lie. I didn't say it was great working there, i said the learning experience was great-big difference.
However even though my sixth sense was in tune for this next surprise, receiving it was still shocking. Ruth has been poking at my curiosity for the last 3 months, saying she has a really great present for me. And while her final gift to me wasn't exactly what she had planned, getting $1200 in cold hard cash was still pretty fucking mind blowing. The wad of bills is on my desk right now and intend on questioning her mental state tomorrow. If she is sane and realizes she's crazy and wants the money back, i'll gladly return it. If not, my bank is right across the street. Into my high interest account it goes.
She told me she wanted me to go on a vacation before i go back to school-or at least anytime soon, the only condition would be that i'd have to mail her a postcard from wherever destination i chose. I told her due to my sister's baby this August, the likelihood of me taking a trip would be slim. However, i did say that with this money i should be able to go to San Francisco next year and with the leftover money, Hong Kong!!
It's true, she said that $1200 should be enough for a weekend trip in new york (shopping/food/hotel) but... I love San Francisco and I haven't been to Hong Kong in 12 years.
(plus the shopping in HK is way better!!)
Of course i have a parting gift for Ruth, it may not be cash but I think when you're rich, getting money or expensive gifts is the last thing you want. At least I know i like getting hand made gifts moreso than gift certificates (unless the money is from my parents or rich benefactors-because then it's okay).
Throughout the course of this year I randomly ask her questions about music and various cheesy musicians if she liked them and so on. This gift for her will have so much inside humor that only Ruth, my adjacent neighbor whom i will equally miss-Jane, and myself will get. The rest will be baffled.
All i can say is this much, i have the tracklist of the songs, I have pictures of a certain individual at work, and i found large image of michael jackson's Thriller on google. I think she'll really like it.
This friday should be good too. I'm curious to see the outcome.
Oh yeah... on top of the farewell luncheon, someone got officially fired at work. We got an 'effective immediately' so and so is no longer with EDULINX. Now that just doesn't happen every day. I've invited that individual to my dinner party, so hopefully she'll still come to fill me in on the details.
I also need a haircut. Really badly.

life. is. sweet. (L.I.S) Thursday, July 21, 2005 05:13 p.m.

Things are amazing right now. All the people that have been bothering me up to this point I've successfully managed to piss off. Suckers.
I don't know if it's because it's the end of the day or because i have to walk the dogs in a few minutes but i'm feeling far too lethargic to type out the whole ordeal.
All i know is that a few days ago my hypocritical cow of a team leader reprimanded me for talking to my coworker and thereby being unproductive. But she didn't directly say she wanted me to sit down she used the premise that 'other people' were complaining to her. Absolute bullshit.
So i says to her i says...
"oh that's right, because doing your makeup at your desk and chatting with Phyllis about eyemakeup is so much more productive. yeah."
All i can say was that she was too flustered to even meet my eye and stuttering on the spot she sort of turned her back to me and said 'what?' I retorted confirming that i did in fact see her and heard her. She scuttled away and muttered "it was only five minutes!!". Horseapples. I know everything you Jersey cow, don't even try to pull a fast one over me because you're too damn slow.
While she may think that hell hath no fury than a woman scorned, she certainly hasn't met the incarnation of the furies in asian form. Or in any form for that matter.
It's common knowledge that i'm leaving next friday and furthemore that i don't care about work at this point. I don't see what's wrong with that, i do my work (barely) and have a good time and then leave.
So at the end of my day, Yvonne (the bovine) does a number check to see how much work we've done. I've done the least amount, big fucking deal. So instead of saying anything to me, she runs to the manager and tells him that 'people were complaining saying it wasn't fair that i'm leaving and i get paid to slack'. I sat down with my manager afterwards and he said 'i understand that you've lost motivation to do work because you're leaving-totally understandable-but for me could you just try a little bit before you go?' or something to that extent. I brushed that off and we talked about dinner reservations for the party i'm planning.
Not even that shrivelled prune, camille, cares that i'm slacking off, how could she? she's too busy flirting with the younger men around her and limping like an invalid to even bother. Plus i know it was yvonne the brown, as in cow. (yes, her name is yvonne brown).
Anyway i noticed this paper that was on her wall, talking about "small minds think only about people bla bla bla, great minds think about ideas".
So upon leaving, i had originally intended on taking the page and putting it on her monitor circling the small mind section. But because she was at her desk when i left, i simply said the following...
"So Yvonne, what's this?"
"it's a proverb. you know?"
"hm. right. this is true."
And with that i took my pen and circled the desired section and walked away. Tomorrow I plan on telling her that in case she didn't know it already, i was directing that remark to her.
The thing about Yvonne is that she tries so hard to impress everyone with her fancy and expensive appearance and a pseudo classy manners. The reality is that with her pay and family, i know that her income doesn't support her fancy lifestyle, or it does but that's only because she has a rich husband who pays for everything. Either way, she probably only makes like.. 10k more than me. big fucking deal. You're still in the lower income bracket you cunt.
Oh! I also made reservations for my dinner farewell party. Pretty fun, it's going to be at an expensive steakhouse. hahaha i have this faiiiint feeling that my rich benefactor will pay for me... but i have my visa ready and willing.

18%!! Sunday, July 17, 2005 10:11 p.m.

Holy shoot. i bought the latest installation of Harry Potter and i had no time/desire to even read past the first paragraph.
Saturday I met my Chen side of the family and learned that everyone on that side of the family is ultra cool and way classy. I blew a wad on clothing to wear that night because i left the house underdressed for the occasion no thanks to my mom.
Sunday, my sister bought a gameboy advance, i helped her with priming her banisters, bought a pair of bermuda shorts, a gold/turquoise belt, and my second gameboy game.
Running tomorrow at 4:30, and still no desire to read HP.

Ghetto gold and vintage irritation. Tuesday, July 5, 2005 09:23 p.m.

I'm really sick of working with Indian people. The fact that i'm leaving in 18 business days is only making my threshold for their rudeness and foul odor decrease exponentially.
Obviously there are exceptions but for the most part. shit. so rude.
I had a conversation with a co-worker and while i was finishing i noticed one of the newer temporary agency employees approaching me. I ended the conversation. She acknowledges me with her too red lipstick and yellow crooked toothed smile.
"Hi Brian."
After saying this she thrusts an orange sheet towards my hand area. I noticed the sheet, and i fully know what she wants: an english translation on a french document. What has always bothered me about this (in case you haven't noticed) is that she didn't ask me for anything but rather just pushed something at me, like i'm an office appliance. She often does this.
I play dumb and ask
"Hi, do you need my help for something?"
"mayyyybe! tee hee!"
Ii'm not in the mood at all for these games. i want to leave my job as quickly as possible, if i could hold my breath to speed up time i would. Quickly annoyed i reply:
"Well, maybe if you asked a question, i could help you."
Her fake smile flashes off faster than her cheap lipstick could stain her yellow teeth.
"I don't need that attitude! if you don't want to help me..."
I further explained to her that she didn't ask me a question and sarcastically apologized. All i know is that i'm not tolerating this crap anymore and by the end of the month i'll have taken a bite out of every single coworker who bothers me.
Anyway earlier this morning our workroom was locked magically and we were delayed for about two and a half hours. it was wonderful. what was even more entertaining was the fact that a friend of mine had emailed me a copy of Paris Hilton's phone book. I sat in tears laughing at my coworker (who has the hots for Vin Diesel), as she called Mr. Diesel himself on her work line. A british woman answered, we both suspect it was his assistant. By the end of the day poor Vin's number was given to 3 very desperate edulinxwives.
I know this Gold Seiko i have should do, but i still desperately want a gold Rolex. One with diamonds. oh man... epitome of decadent!

Summer of the Visa Wednesday, June 29, 2005 08:14 p.m.

Well i've certainly managed to spend water like money. i mean.
I mowed the lawn in the 30 plus weather after work. Intense heat aside, my skin needed the vitamin D. Unfortunately my right knee/thigh didn't need the one dozen lashes of the weed wacker aka the-cat-of-furiously-rapid-and-sometimes-rabid-nine-tails.
Yes, i have become a victim of a favorite summer pastime gone careless. Upon finishing the edges of the lawn, i was in a hurry to bundle up the edger/weedwacker and i accidentally hit the handle button and it spun a good few dozen revolutions around my right leg. It didn't slice into my leg despite what i thought. I'm sure I'll have a pleasant tiger stripe like scar across my leg in a few days...
Afterwards i had to hastily shower and drive to my dental appointment. A full oral x-ray, some teeth scraping, a horrible tasting fluoride rinse, a complimentary floss with toothbrush set and a $175 bill later, i'm finding myself sitting at my desk realizing that i just spent $300 something today without even realizing it.
During my insomnia last night, i remembered i really wanted those dr. martens i so ranted about a few months ago. Sure enough i found them on ebay (a lot cheaper than zappos). After exchanging a few emails with the seller, i am now the soon to be proud owner of a pair of engineer's boots. Now all i can think is how cool i'll look with a pair of Mad Max boots and black jeans...
Now i just need black jeans. I threw out my so called 'good pair' because i realized they made my legs look like two gigantic thighs.

i almost forgot Tuesday, June 21, 2005 10:42 p.m.

i cut my hair on SUNDAY.
also, at the last minute i've managed to amass several course outlines just in time for registration and transferring credits. big P-H-E-W.

GIRLS ON FILM! Tuesday, June 14, 2005 05:39 a.m.

There's no humidity in the air let alone smog. ahhhhh now i feel all energized and glowing like some placebo infused moron on a pharmaceutical advert.
man, running at 4:30am is the best idea ever. I got up at 4:20 and surprisingly i wasn't that exhausted, i thought i'd be dead last night because i tried to sleep at 8 (but to no avail, i ended up falling asleep at around 10:30). I finished the full route in just under 40 mins. I might time myself tomorrow.

i love you emmpio! Sunday, June 12, 2005 10:22 p.m.

Well self, you've done it again. (no not ebay, even though you shouldn't have bought that armani and you know it!)
I started my 4.5 kilometer epic evening ritual tonight. Earlier today i bought a tiny mp3 player specifically meant for excercise. In other words, a lot smaller than my ipod and equipped with a funky armband and killer earbuds. It was so fun running around the neighborhood. It felt so cool seeing this funky black armband. Plus, the songs were perfect too, i found myself so engrossed in running that i didn't even want to switch tracks.
At the end, my face burned with victory. As did my feet.

let's begin the countdown: Sunday, June 5, 2005 08:45 p.m.

40 BUSINESS DAYS LEFT.

feel good:forever broke! Friday, May 20, 2005 10:02 p.m.

just call me LEATHER MAMA. My biker jacket finally arrived. it fits perfectly. oh man. 2005 is looking to be a fantastic year of change.

if you want me to stayyyy Tuesday, May 17, 2005 08:34 p.m.

Ok so my pearls arrived today. I'm loving this shopping spree because every day is like christmas... except i pay for everything.
BUT!!!!...
Holy crap these pearls are totally small (like .5 cm long!). Which is a good and a bad thing. I was sorta hoping they'd be a little bigger like in the magnified picture... But. I'm glad they're small. i can use them as accents to the other beads i intend on buying (locally). For my next step, i'll have to go downtown to Kensington Market and buy several strands of inexpensive vegetable based beads/glass beads. I don't want to spend a lot more... because I want to start selling these bad boys soon and i already have a list of clientele (at work)...
The price range..hm.. i think with the small pearls will be around.. 25-30 bucks. and i'll make a promo like buy 1 and get the second one for $5 less and so on. I'm still waiting on the larger/round pearls i ordered after the first two orders.
And if this all falls through, hey i'll have 13 REAL pearl necklaces i can wear simultaneously... hahaha oh geez.

hallelujah praise POINT-CUTTING. Monday, May 16, 2005 05:30 a.m.

well i gave myself a haircut last night. I'm gradually trying to cut my hair more like the way yeemi does it-so that meant using a comb and scissors, point cutting and barely using the clippers.
It takes longer. Note to self; stop cutting hair on sunday nights. Oh well, I finally see the benefits of point-cutting vs. blunt straight on snips.
The first official BLOCK PARTY is next week. hahaha i can't believe it. i'm actually pretty excited about this. I got my daiquiri and pina colada mix ready, all i need now is a lawnchair and i'm set for a night of fireworks and mutual awkwardness!

black pearls, white pearls, high pearls, low pearls, Tuesday, May 10, 2005 09:22 p.m.

THE GOOD LORD KNOWS I DON'T NEED ANY MORE WHOLESALE PEARLS.
As soon as i get all 500 whatever amount in the mail, i'm going to start taking orders.
Of course, i'm saving one strand for myself.
In case you didn't realize... Tuesday, May 3, 2005 08:28 p.m.

I love shopping.
man oh man! it's a great time to be buying stuff!! i just flirted with the idea of buying a murakami wallet but then yeah. now that is silly. I don't need that kind of fad status symbol. I also just received my first item in the mail. An Izod Lacoste golf shirt in brilliant pink. c'est incroyable!
This saturday or sunday i'll end it all with a pair of jeans and then that's it. I will have bought one item for each day of the week (spread over 2 weeks of course).
This week i'm working crazy overtime hours now but ah. it's great to be able to really splurge when you want.
Right now I'm working on the punch line of a card i've designed for a coworker's surprise birthday party tomorrow. she will be floored. funniest thing to date (another coworker, a black plum like man, on marilyn monroe's body-the front page has her mouthing the words 'happy birthday mr. president' and on the inside will be the plum monroe). there's just too many inside jokes to count.
Genius. I love making birthday cards.

damn you marc jacobs! Thursday, April 28, 2005 12:13 a.m.

DAMN YOU EBAY!!

If you.. Tuesday, April 26, 2005 08:53 p.m.

Man. ebay is like... my true weakness. I cannot believe this morning i bought another pair of Vivienne Westwood earrings (a legit pair this time-half price of the fake pair) and about an hour ago i accidentally bought ONE izod lacoste golf shirt...i misread the labels and mixed my excitement with seeing numbers and the pictures and well i thought i was buying 5 golf shirts but in fact it was just one. Ugh. needless to say i've almost spent $200 in the last 3 days. And while the golf shirt will go amazingly well with the earrings... crap!!! I never buy anything full price!!!! or almost full price...It's against my fundamentalist thrift credo AGH!
Ebay is now blocked and my open wound of a bank account has to be left alone now to heal for the remaining months.

money owing:$0. Monday, April 25, 2005 10:32 p.m.

whew. i just finished doing my tax return. I think i did it right... I'll have to get my sister to look it over before i send it out this weekend. But if all goes well, i'm putting all of it back into my savings. weee..... and that'll be a very nice boost.
i fell asleep on the guest bed after walking the dogs today. I decided to pass up excercise for a nap because i was so deathly tired on the long drive home today. The radio is getting increasingly crappy as time progresses. LIPPY BEATS PEOPLE! LIPPY BEATS!
oh yeah, i emailed the Vivienne Westwood earring vendor. "no the original box does not come with them. sorry" haha they're totally fake. whatever. i'm still telling everyone they're real.

live and learn Sunday, April 24, 2005 01:47 a.m.

i just realized i probably bought fakes.
i knew the vendor was chinese, what i didn't know was that he's from Guong Dong. the land of "nice fakes". My cousin had JUST told me earlier today that she wish she could go to this city for that very same reason. i just found out his location after winning the bid. oh well. i'm starting to see a trend now..
Well if i really want, i could just bring the earrings to my aunt and uncle have them make rubber molds out of the fakes and have real stones set in them. hahaha. not such a bad thing after all.
besides, even the real mccoys are made with cheap materials and start at around $300.

craving for bling Sunday, April 24, 2005 01:35 a.m.

oh my shit. i just bought a pair of vivienne westwood orb earrings off of ebay. yes. i registered for ebay today and bought something within 8 hrs.
i've had the biggest craving for jewellery. i think this rush just wet my palate. oh crap what have i done?!
just call me il papa. A friend of mine called them 'pope earrings' and another friend called them 'holy bomb earrings'. oh geez. i am really putting my style to the test if i can pull these off without looking like a complete idiot.
I'd better be able to because I JUST BOUGHT THEM!!

Dear self, Thursday, April 21, 2005 08:04 p.m.

1. got yeemi to fix up the mohawk. so now it's layered out again and nicely trimmed. I was surprised, with her new promotion, she only cost about $10 more than regular. it's good to be a guy.
2. i finally went out with yeemi for a smoke break. she would always ask if i was going outside after each haircut. but every time i had to go-today i had time to wander around. Upon going out i learned:
A. she's a lesbian. (Hm. my sister was right after all.)
B. On her back she has a wicked tattoo on in progress and...
C. I learned of a really great (and cheap) tattoo japanese artist downtown. yeemi gave me the tattoo artist's card.
3. I bought some more earrings. I had in mind to get some tiny diamond studded hoops, i figured they were glam rockish. I did find the hoops. But i also came across these chanel diamond logo earrings. So i bought those too. hahaha they're so ghetto fabulous.
4. I learned that what i want is going to be the next hugest thing, naturally it's impossible to find. I wanted to get a small solid gold cursive "B" earring. Just one. However none were to be found anywhere. i might beg my aunt and uncle to make me one and give it to my mom when she goes to SF.
5. I might grow out my hair. I really like having the mohawk but it's way too high maintenance! I'm thinking i'll grow it out maybe next year or something. preferably during the fall/winter, so i can wear a hat.
6. When school comes i think i'll have no problems getting a job at square one (if i want one), i know so many of the store workers and they're always so friendly to me. It shouldn't be a problem.
7.Tomorrow I have an alumni reunion. I have the perfect thing to wear, a vintage neon pink/yellow/blue plaid Ralph Lauren shirt i picked up last week, washed out relaxed faded jeans, leather flip flops and my chanel earring (i bought a pair but i only wear one). ah perfection.
8. Volumes at work are pretty low, so i had a half day today and tomorrow has been cancelled. Finally a nice long weekend where i had no choice but to accept.

Thursday, April 14, 2005 05:37 a.m.

I hate it when people use highschool to gauge their intelligence.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005 05:30 p.m.

I thought my stress today due my acceptance to ocad. i'm caring less and less about work and while i'm consciously trying not to slack off and maintain a diligent work ethic, my pent up glee is building up in my subconscious-resulting in many asinine errors showing up and thereby decreasing the quality of my work.
However it wasn't my steadily decreasing accuracy that was bothering me, no, actually it was that i still haven't received my physical letter of admissions from ocad. While driving home i was nearly comatose due to lack of good music. Fighting off the sleeps, i concentrated on figuring out what to say to the infernal admissions office for losing my letter.
I mean I live in Burlington, it should take less than a week for something to arrive from Toronto.
The admissions office was spared my wrath and brimstone, i received the letter today and i just finished accepting their offer of admission online.
Next is paying the $300 confirmation deposit. after that i can resume my coma.

arabia, arabia, whisk me away Sunday, April 10, 2005 05:29 p.m.

Ok, so. (that's going to be my band name)
Ok, so, i've got about.. 4 months left until quitting. My dad and i were talking about travelling today on our way back home from going out with the Tam Clan.
When asked what was the one place i wanted to visit, i stated all around the pacific rim area, but only because it's been a while since i've travelled. Actually the only place i want to go is to see my uncle and aunt in San Francisco.
I just might quit a bit earlier and do that. we'll see. i sorta want to take a cooking class there (my sister did this, it sounded really cool).
I just want to make sure i'm back in time to be around when Dawn has her baby.
Also, my friend's friend is going to the middle east. She's bringing back my friend some gold/silver nameplates (in english and arabic), i asked if i could get her to bring me some. Oh man!!! i want two plates, one of my name in arabic and in english and in TWENTY FOUR KARAT GOLD!!
And if that falls through i just might order it online from some site i found a while ago. I've been meaning to get a nice gold nameplate for a long ass time.

doe is for death!! Tuesday, April 5, 2005 07:03 p.m.

Allow me to reverberate today's events:
1. i slept in. an extensive workout combined with going to bed late resulted in me sleeping in over an hour.
2. Realizing i overslept, i called my coworker whom i told i'd pick up on and left a message on his cell saying i couldn't pick him up. 3. I took my time, seeing there was no point to panicking i decided to leave the house at 7:30. Throwing on whatever i wanted (loose khaki slacks, a red ferrari t-shirt, a black button down jersey and some brown slip ons).
4. The hair glue i bought for $5 yesterday proved to be totally worth it. It spread like butter and stuck like tar. Exactly like my B&B product but less than 10% of the price.
5. Driving up towards the highway, a deer, more specifically a doe, jumped out of the bushes as I passed. Fortunately, I was driving 40-45km/h. I slammed on the brakes, allowing it to pass, however it still banged it's hindlegs on my car. Judging from it's speed, it was bruised at the worst. But most likely it was merely spooked-myself not excluded.
6. I arrive at work at 8:10 almost an hour late. I work, work and work. Finally at 4:30, it's go time. And so i did.
7. Got home. Made rice in the ricecooker. Walked the dogs. Worked out. I'm going to grill a steak now.
8. repeat as desired.

gurrgle... Monday, April 4, 2005 10:03 p.m.

ugh. i just cut my hair today. I didn't do such a stellar job this time around. or maybe i'm just used to the way it looks. I also didn't bother putting in tracklines this time. I almost want to book an expensive appointment with yeemi this week just to even out the mess. but I think i'll wait until after my visa bill is over.
I heard two kickass songs today on my way to and from work:
to work: go with the flow-queens of the stone age
from work: Karmastition (remix)-alicia keys
i still have to get both of these cds...

get those KISS faces ready because... Sunday, April 3, 2005 04:36 p.m.

I GOTS ME A POWERBOOK!

This love is SERIOUS! Sunday, April 3, 2005 09:25 a.m.

4.5 months until quitting time!
I've tossed out that cash countdown, screw that-things are official now.

ugh. Wednesday, March 30, 2005 05:34 a.m.

Ok so my design teacher whom i refused to keep in contact with since he accused me of stalking him, has the nerve to email me and grovel for donations for a fundraiser he's all in love with.
yeah ok.

"hey! you were amazing in RUSH HOUR 2!" Tuesday, March 29, 2005 08:33 p.m.

A friend at work asked me if i wanted to go downtown to see P.Diddy at Much Music. After about 5 minutes of thinking, i agreed.
After work I met up with him, we drove down to the Kipling Station and managed to get to the tv station within a decent time. Unfortunately we weren't early enough, otherwise we would have received leather tote bags filled with tons of goodies. ughhh.
Oh well, as much as i despise Sean John, well less so now, i still didn't have any problems with snagging some free giveaway t-shirts he was tossing to the audience. I picked a lovely day to wear something slightly off kilter also. I was wearing my brown cargoes rolled up my calf, navy blue highsocks, black runners, an orange hoody, a brown jacket and a brown plaid scarf. At work this turned many heads, i thought i'd get laughed out of town but i got a lot of compliments, oddly enough.
I know i caught some people looking when i was downtown, my friend told me that he caught a few people at the tv studio checking out the outfit-so if you see Sean John doing some dark sock/rolled up pants/hoody getup next season. you know where that hack stole it..
But yeah i got some nice t-shirts, a black one with a yellow circular logo, and a red "Sean John" signature t-shirt, both of which are worth $60 each. The black one is extra large and almost reaches my knees. it's fun and pretty comfy. I should also mention that P.Diddy himself handed me this shirt. I received a red autograph t-shirt as i left, it's large and i had real problems squeezing my head through the neck, i think it ripped slightly. I might cut this one up and make it semi unique. I was thinking about turning it into a cummerbund-that'd be a cool idea i think.
Currently my throat is so sore from all the fake enthusiasm.
and i'm still reeling about getting into ocad. ahh.

HOLY FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF...... Monday, March 28, 2005 07:34 p.m.

It is our pleasure to advise you that your portfolio has won you an offer of admissions to the Ontario College of Art & Design.
Details will be sent to you via Canada Post.
Congratulations
GAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
(wow it's a crazy coincidence that i blew a month's salary today. happy fucking exodus from office life to ME)

What on earth have I just done?! Monday, March 28, 2005 02:55 p.m.

I just prolonged my stay at work-by about another month. I went with my dad today and bought a new SLR digital camera.
It's 8 Megapixels (insert holy shit... anywhere!). This will be the hugest visa bill to date. And for the first time in almost 2 years, i will have to re-allocate some of my savings to my chequings account pay for a credit card bill.
For sure now, all plans to take a plane are out of the question!! But that's cool, i'll be in hanging around toronto more now. And by late August i'll be there snapping pictures of my soon to be very little nephew with the motor drive of my camera.
Now i am definitely not scared to carry around my little point and shooter because it's newer sibling is about...well... a lot more.
The thing is sitting on my bed right now, i'm aghast at how much i just spent. I do know that if my mom finds out i bought this thing, she'll compete and try to get the higher model.

elation Sunday, March 27, 2005 09:33 p.m.

Ah, I broke the lenten fast with $106 of fun loving spending and happy go lucking.
I bought this crazy avante garde padded "straightjacket" as my sister described it. It's like a padded vest but it's a jacket... and instead of a front opening... um there really isn't one, but there's a zipper on the shoulder-So i guess it's more like a shirt. And if that wasn't all, the colors are kind of sickly mucky khaki and green. There's some knitwork/elasticized material around the shoulders/sides and a checker pattern on the top portion of the shirt. Probably one of the weirder things in my wardrobe. It's not the most flattering thing but at $10.95, i'm not complaining. I also bought some other stuff like a black/white turtleneck designed by Karl Lagerfeld and some other fluff.
After much contemplation i've decided this spring/summer i'm going to get back into a fitness routine like last year- i figure people do this all the time, what's a little starvation and excercise going to hurt? A whole fucking lot, which is why i'm going to do it-i loves the S&M.
Speaking of something and M, H&M is totally overrated. Sure i thought some of the stuff was nice, but seriously, i was utterly irritated with the store in Toronto. Everyone is fighting to just walk through and there is no aspect of looking around-you basically have to buy something because there are just too many people in that damned 3 level store.
Other activities that day to add to the aforementioned total included: seeing THE RING 2 (okay), going out for dinner, and buying a train ticket.

Say no thanks to straight up san pellegrino. Thursday, March 17, 2005 10:28 p.m.

Ah one more week until lent is over. I'm feeling pretty good these days. Aside from ocad anticipation, things are feeling nice.

WHAT? Tuesday, March 15, 2005 08:09 p.m.

The latest spring 2005 Comme Des Gar�ons is killing me. man. i want so much stuff from this collection. I really really really want the flower shorts/blazer set. craaaap! i would look so messed up. and i'd wear that outfit for years to come at all events. shit. i think what i want to do now is look for some vintage suits and cut the pants and wear them short and tailor them to look like nicely cut shorts.
damn, i have mad respect for Rei K.
oh mannnnnnnnnn.... and i want get started on my gold jewellery collection too. shit. i'm getting so caught up in material things but shit. when it comes to my appearance i get obsessed-now if only i had the same confidence in my style with my actual looks. shiit.

doggy couture Monday, March 14, 2005 09:45 p.m.

Man i never get sick of Sinead O'Connor's Nothing compares to you.
My mom bought me this little book of patterns for dog sweaters. on the front cover is a mini schnauzer very much like my cally wearing a DINOSAUR sweater! oh mannnn!!!

forever broke Monday, March 14, 2005 06:48 p.m.

Man i'm such an idiot. why did i put away $600 of my paycheck in my savings already?! ugh. so premature!! I had so much in my account but nooooo i had to be a goody 99 shoes and pay my visa bill promptly and then lock away the rest of my funds leaving only gas money.
I had to fill up gas today but it was outrageously expensive. I had the experience of not being able to fill up to $75, i have something like... $30 in my main account right now. Instead i filled up to $10 worth.
Not to mention my friends are all having their birthday parties downtown this weekend and next. ugh. I might have to pass on both of them because i have zero income.
Rainchecks and handdrawn cards it is!
I gave myself another haircut today. i think i'm actually getting really good at doing this mohawk business. I'm going to start just wearing it loose, free and easy. My hair sweeps nicely over to the side just like the old days (except i have no sides to style anymore yay!)
I also gave myself two tracklines-one super thick one and one thin one. The thick one was because i screwed up and didn't make it quite straight. The thin one was to just echo the lines. My look is pretty tough right now.

got salt PETER on the brain? Sunday, March 13, 2005 06:21 a.m.

When I sleep properly, I dream.
Last night, i dreamt that part of my application for OCAD required me to study and perform a 5 part math exam (or maybe it was 4 part?). By 5 or 4 part exam, i mean it was based off of 4-5 chapters that they assigned you to study. In this dream, i hadn't studied any of the chapters and it was the day before the exam. For even weirder reasons I was back in Notre Dame Secondary School-but i was still 23. I distinctly remember saying i was going to study in the library.
What a nightmare, not only was i completely unprepared, i knew i was going to fail. I remember thinking i'd be able to do chapter 1's work and wing the rest.
I'm still afraid that my application may be rejected. Of course there is likely another underlying intrinsic meaning that i'm ignoring.
I also dreamt that my sisters wanted to watch my episodes of Samurai Champloo, that was neat-i got to see some future episodes. I still felt anxious that i had to start studying. But i distinctly remember setting up my imac on the glass top coffee table in the television room.

yeah new york! Saturday, March 12, 2005 11:26 a.m.

Whoa. even in my dreams i'm still sticking to my Lenten sacrifice:no shopping. Too bad that hoody was pretty neat.. and it was only $2.20!!!

Friday, March 11, 2005 10:31 p.m.

whoa. avril lavigne really shouldn't cover a green day song. i think i could sing 'basketcase' better than her (no i know i could. hell at least i'd be on key).
And speaking of keys, i really want to get Alicia Key's second cd.
Man, this is the worst cover i have ever heard!! i think she's in her bathroom, there's no way she's singing this to a live audience.

Thursday, March 10, 2005 10:38 p.m.

I never thought i was that anal retentive. I mean i knew I have an inclination to be uptight but geebus. My mother decided that the way I sort my clothes was 'illogical'. Apparently rolling up my tshirts in the cubicle of my closet didn't make sense, nor did the system of folding jeans in my drawers click in her mind that a system long existed before her interferance and evidently the fact i kept my long sleeved jerseys quite separate from the rolled up tshirts was implicitly foreign. Clearly this was all too frustrating for her, so one day she decided on going into my room and mixing my tshirts with my jeans, the long sleeved with the short and pretty much anything else with the leftover jeans i have in my drawers. God knows why she decided on going into my room but she did one sunday afternoon when i was at church.
I tried to cope with the fact my sweaters are mixed up with t-shirts and my polos are haphazardly piled up with the long sleeved. However tomorrow is casual friday..
My head has exploded. I am looking at my brains splattered on my ceiling with the one eyeball i have that remains intact.
I want to smash a mirror and throw a tantrum like when i was 5.

this is no phase Thursday, March 10, 2005 09:33 p.m.

it's been oh.. let's see... well over a year now. Yep. i still like the Yeah Yeah Yeah's.
Thank you carolyn for introducing them to me. We've been inseparable ever since.
happiest relationship ever.

Wednesday, March 9, 2005 04:54 p.m.

My handwriting today was so knife edge laden i swear the surface of the paper was serrated.
my skin tastes acrid, my eyes are venomous and the caustic liquid flowing through my veins can cut titanium right now.
yeah i'm pretty mad at myself and the world right now.
Oh. but i get paid this friday. Lent will be over in a few more weeks. Shopping then.

must have earrings of two thousand whenever Tuesday, March 1, 2005 09:39 p.m.

1.diamond solitaire studs(harlequin shaped diamonds)
2.cross earrings/studs.
3.new! Skull earrings/studs. the three dimensional kind. I am so keeping my eyes peeled for these ones now.

Tuesday, March 1, 2005 01:04 p.m.

I worked half the day today. The snow here is unrelenting.
Who the hell from "CAPE FEAR community college" visits my journal?! Actually a lot of people read this thing or end up here by accident. Leave your mark. tag the board.

hah. Sunday, February 27, 2005 09:54 p.m.

If people dressed like this for the oscars, i'd be very impressed/inspired. America wouldn't be such a stupid place after all.

this is just plain funny. Indrani, you are such a moron. Stop using black shoepolish to dye your eyebrows and for the love of blood circulation, stop wearing your stirrup pants with those tightly laced boots, your feet are going to fall off.

it must be fung shui.. Sunday, February 27, 2005 09:18 p.m.

Whenever i get my hair cut, i always feel a bit nauseous afterwards.
I just trimmed my sides today, which proved to be harder than usual. At first i decided to try and mimic yeemi's technique, but after realizing i had no idea what i was doing, i went back to using the usual clippers. Except this time i manipulated and maintained the length. It looks pretty good, i mean except the part where i tried to do what yeemi did-i took a deep chunk of hair out around there, but it's barely noticeable unless you know where to look. (yeemi was telling me about how she used to screw up and take huge chunks out of her hair all the time, but if you just mess up your hair a bit, it's not even noticeable).
I know this may sound cheap but seriously, 40 bucks for someone to just trim my sides (which would take them 30 mins at the most), is silly. It took me 40 mins and i'm sure i'll get much better at doing this, also, i should probably invest in a long mirror to hang on the door and use so that both of my hands are mobile.
drawing is proving to be more and more of a challenge as the days progress. I'm having a difficulty doing the easiest of things from drawing an interesting costume to a pretty face. Every other day i cut out a large sheet of paper from my ream and drawing while i listen to my ipod. It seems that everything i draw is ham fisted and somewhat awkward. It's probably a good thing that i had a lot of drawings/artwork from when i was in relatively good drawing shape.
Also i watched a bit of the pre-show of the oscars. I really hate celebrities who think they're designers because they pay someone to design their clothing and put their name on it. I turned on the TV to hear p.diddy talk about how he "designed" chris rock's tuxedo. whatever. this isn't even worth my typing.
Hilary Swank's dress is neat, i'm not a fan of the material/color. She should've gone for black or if she insisted on that blue, i think the material should have had somewhat of a shimmer. Cate Blanchett is consistently well dressed. Kate Winslet-eh. Johnny Depp and his girl from Paradis, are so cool. So many celebrities who feign being 'artists' don't even give off that kind of persona. it's all talk and pretention. For these dumb things, they all seem to think that they have to 'look good'. No! They should look interesting and really make a statement. You can still look good and do that!
Now i'm going to puke out my dinner, ugh. I feel like samson.
Oh i also really liked Spike Lee's white suit. I wouldn't have worn the fez, but it goes really well for his whole weird image. Plus those glasses he was wearing were killer.

maybe i'm just tired... Saturday, February 26, 2005 09:00 p.m.

I think i'm getting a bit far sighted. Is it normal that the nearest i can look at something (up close) is 3.5 inches? oh crap. i knew it, i'm staring at the computer screen too closely..

Thursday, February 24, 2005 05:29 a.m.

Lately it seems that i've had zero incentive to do any work at my job. I think i've been doing about one half to two thirds less work i originally did a few weeks before my portfolio interview.
Speaking of which, i find out the results of the interview in April (i emailed the admins office). that's one month from now. I think the worst part of this whole ordeal is that i still have the inkling sensation that i didn't get in. like there's a 0.00000001% chance.
Thank god it's thursday. What the hell am i going to wear today?....
Also my tax return might jumpstart me further to my $7000 goal.

hm.. Monday, February 21, 2005 05:56 a.m.

I think I should get a scanner. I think i want to start scanning drawings again. Payday is this friday. Yeah. something small, reasonable (reasonably cheap), and decent scan quality.

Monday, February 21, 2005 05:37 a.m.

man, i hate snow.

life as per the norm.. Thursday, February 17, 2005 06:11 p.m.

Things are going pretty well lately. My sister put it as "knowing the unknown", there still remains one thing...
I wish someone would tell me what to wear every day. or there was a site that would tell me what looks good or something.
This weekend i might go visit mark who is coming back to burlington. I meant to see him after the portfolio interview but he was held up at work for a few more hours..

i feel so bad, i've been so mean. Thursday, February 17, 2005 05:00 p.m.

HAHAHA NOT.
the meeting went so-so. i feel really relieved, I was amazingly articulate at the 'huddle', i thought for sure i would have stumbled and said something absolutely stupid but the whole calm and collected thing worked. She on the other hand pretended to play the sweet old lady card, but my manager and i both knew better. I called her out and made it quite clear that i know that she's biased and anything else she says i won't believe because she's a cunty liar.
Anyway, i didn't pull out the little white note in my breastpocket (i color coded my messages). The opportunity didn't arise and i didn't want to just say it-that would have been a huge no-no. I did however pull out a pink slip of paper from the same breastpocket containing a list of definitions from the dictionary. First i asked her if she knew what the definition of "respect" was, She looked a bit shocked and then started to get cocky but before she could finish I told her "i don't think you do..." and i proceeded to pull out the definitions sheet.
I know that my manager was secretly on my side, he tried to stop her from interrupting me (it wouldn't matter to me, practically nobody can interrupt me in real life except for perhaps my sister.) That and before the meeting i went into his office and told him that i knew Camille was trying to bait me into yelling at her. I explained that i wouldn't fall for such an easy setup and he actually told me to 'be cool and it will totally piss her off'. hahaha you devil.
Anyway so when we sat down in the meeting room, Bob started but then Camille proceeded to say why "we" brought me there. (i know this is gramatically incorrect but she actually spoke as if she had the arm of the law on her side. big mistake you cunt).
My mind tends to gloss over when i get cornered and furious like this, so i don't remember the exact details. I do know that my face was ready to fry an egg and i was getting really mad at the whole 'i'm an innocent victim of your words' act that she was pulling.
What i do know is that, the first thing i asked her was
"Tell me this, do you ever wonder what the exact reason is that i dislike you?"
Of course she is all clueless, finally somewhere along the line i bring up her endless tattling. I brought up a specific event (one of many). So she says something to the effect of
"how do you know it was me? everyone blames me but you don't know...it could be anyone"
so I said,
"No, i don't know for that exact example but i still can think of many other times where i know for a fact that it was you."
Despite my manager's so called neutral ground, he was backing me up. Whatever, i know what he's thinking (You are suuuuch a cunt.)
Then I also stated another example and she said the same tired line of "how do you know it was me?" bla bla bla, and then i told her
"you just told me.." (you dumbass cunt)
"well yeah but..."
Whatever, my manager tried to do the 'we'll agree to disagree' b.s. but there was no turning back, i brought up more issues, like how is it that even though you state that i'm not getting singled out, why is it that i'm always the only one getting the manager talks?
Her defense was that "you don't know if people get into trouble... I complain about...(she screwed up here) lots of people get complained on...."
Then i stated specific names and asked her why she doesn't say anything about them and why is it that it's always me...
Again she tried to say that "you don't know" business. finally I said
"actually i do know. because whenever i get in trouble, bob comes to my desk and says 'brian can i bug you for a minute?'. I never see him go to Bryarose's desk and say 'bryarose can i bug you for a minute?' or 'ruth can i bug you for a minute?' or 'yvonne can i bug you for a minute?' No. it's always me. I'm not stupid. i don't specifically look out for these things but i can still hear."
While I was saying this, bob was nodding in agreement. Camille on the other hand tried to deny it all but then bob intervened and said that 'it's true.' and something else managerial that i can't remember.
The rest was a bit fuzzy but I can remember another few satisfying things i said...
"I talked to Bob about this a few months ago, and i asked him how he could allow this woman to create animosity within the workplace. This is a very destructive thing to have in a so called 'team environment'. You like to create problems!"
Again i got tired of what she was saying, it was all the same garbage. I was just surprised that i didn't throw her out the window, lose my temper or spit in her face. I still kept extremely calm during the entire meeting.
Also somewhere in the beginning she brought up the topic of how we come to work not to make friends and bla bla bla...
So i said:
"That's true, but similarly we don't come to work to make enemies either. you go out of your way to do that it seems."
She also said lines like "oh i don't think we can get anywhere" because i kept on bringing up my issues with her and clearly she thinks thought that she was justified in all of her pettiness. I thought that was funny (in retrospect) because she never answered any of my questions with a straight forward answer.
Poor bob, he kept on trying to pull his "manager 101" on us with lines like "well i think we can agree to put the past behind us... well we can't do that, but just respect one another and well... uh...we'd be comfortable to approach one another and tell each other the problem..."
She was like "oh of course", typical cunt. I know she was lying. I told him "i could, but i will never be comfortable."
Finally somewhere near the end i made beyond crystal clear that she is biased and she can deny it until she is "blue in the face" I will never believe her.
Then she pulled that "well i don't think we can go anywhere with this" (this=me. whatever. at least i'm not a walking talking smelly fishead vagina cunt).
Then finally bob pulled the manager 101 again, and he was having problems articulating the meaning, so i said it for him
"We will just be civil around each other."
And then he said something like 'if anyone asks about this..."
Camille pulled another snide remark like "well dey shouldn't be, because it's not dere business. And nobody should know about it. I didn't tell anyone." (she has a lame trini accent which i kept on wanting to correct the entire time).
So i replied
"Obviously i told people about this! I'm irritated that i have to do this. I feel like i'm in elementary school again, getting in trouble with someone who doesn't like it when I yawn too loudly or something else. I'm not 'perfect' (like you) so naturally I'll tell people. But if anyone asks what happened, i'll tell them that we agreed to be civil. and that's it. And that isn't a lie".
OH at the beginning she pulled some line saying "i don't feel comftable coming to werk, I don't like da feeling i get."
I could have stabbed her eyes out with my thumbs when she said that, so i replied something to the effect of big fucking deal, she's made my employment in the department highly uncomfortable for many more months before i started gossiping about her. I explained that it was only recently that i started doing this. I had the last straw, and finally i just started letting it out.
I proceeded to say that in fact the only difference between the two of us is that when i get annoyed with her i'll tell my coworkers but when she does with me, she runs and jumps to the management and the management's management and soils my name and my reputation-not that i care that much, but i would rather the VP not knowing my name because i'm infamous.
Basically here's the deal (before i have a heart attack from remembering all the details) I had more issues with her than she did with me. This was quite evident, and if it wasn't, i'll bring it to bob's attention tomorrow. What I do know is that when i left, he held camille back for further discussions. I'm not sure what exactly he said, i'm hoping it wasn't something like 'brian's wrong. you're right' otherwise that would definitely confirm my theory that he's a jellyfish.
Best of all (if all of that wasn't enough) I finally told her to GROW UP HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

hell hath no fury, Wednesday, February 16, 2005 10:54 p.m.

So yes. I'm feeling invincible these days. I'm secretly happy because i'll be leaving my job in a matter of months, no WEEKS.. anyway i'm still working but i'm not going to put in excessive efforts now. Hell-no. I have put up with so much garbage from this company, it's payback time. I'm still going to do my share of work, but am i going to go above and beyond for a company that hoards the most grammar mistakes, spelling mistakes, cliche phrases, people with B.O., tattlers and pettiness in the history of man? I said it once, i'll say it again because i like this expression: HELL NO.
Tomorrow at 2:30 will be my little meeting session with the department cunt. She thinks she's got me cornered and figured out. She demanded that the manager be there at the time of the so called "deliberation". I know exactly what this thing is thinking. She figures that because the manager is there, she can say whatever she wants and vindicate herself. This will be so rich. I'll will not pretend to hide my glee and laughter. Nor will i be overly aggressive. Actually i'm going to try passive aggression. I know for her type it won't bounce well off of her and will probably result in her getting more frustrated and hopefully a fatal heart attack- and if that happens i am stepping on her chest with my italian loafers.
Tomorrow i'm going to be wearing 'superior-than-thou' clothing. A blazer, a vibrant green button up turtleneck, fitted military khakis, a denim blazer and a pair of expensive looking italian designer shoes.
I figure this will add to my overall arrogant, self-assured, 'i forgive you but not really, did i forget to mention i'm infinitely richer, younger, and smarter than you?' persona that i will effortlessly convey tomorrow at the meeting. i know this will irritate her to the nth degree.
and if that doesn't work, plan b. most definitely will. I orchestrated a perfectly caustic and lethal mini magnum of an opus which i will pull out neatly folded from my breast pocket and read aloud.
I will only use it if it is completely necessary. Otherwise, when the day finally comes, i will just leave the printed out copy on her desk. that will surely make her snap long after i've left.
so in summary, the strategy is: annoy her, push her buttons like a keyboard and don't even bat an eyelash trying or raise voice/blood pressure. just be all 'hm? oh yeah? okay!"

Jenseits von Gut und Bose Tuesday, February 15, 2005 11:01 p.m.

After work i bought some stuff. Including Xenosaga Episode Two:Jenseits Von Gut und Bose..
so far. it's good. only thing i've noticed is the major redoing of the voices. there's only 3 original voices left. all the major characters (except one) have all weird or cutesy voices now. Me=disappointed.
Apparently the hag of the department has had it with me. I heard that she has 'had it with my sarcasm'. whatever, if laughing is sarcasm, then the entire world is a sarcastic one. I have a meeting with her this thursday with the manager, i'm debating on what to say or not say. either way i'm sure she will be most infuriated and unsatisfied.

a triumph of the heart Monday, February 14, 2005 10:27 p.m.

I feel like i'm an ocad student already.
The interviews were amazing. Aside from the whiney voiced girl who believed more is not enough, Valentine's day will always be remembered as a day of success.
My dad offered to give me a ride downtown as he didn't have to work until the afternoon. We left at around 10:40ish and met up with my sister and brother-in-law for a nice 'calming' lunch. Combined with anxiety and my father's driving i felt pretty nauseous. I imagined being in San Francisco and breathing in the fragrant air that i could almost smell had it not been for my dad's leather seats. This worked a bit, but then i realized i was nauseous from not eating either.
Lunch consisted of thai chicken, vegetables, fried rice and can of guava juice. It felt reassuring to discuss some of the tips of good interviews and possible discussion topics with the interviewers with my family.
After lunch a part of me was kicking and screaming, i didn't want my 'daddy' to leave me by myself at the mercy of the weird people wearing funny clothing in a concrete chamber with rainbow colored windows. Alas, i don't wear diapers, nor do i drink from a bottle and i stopped sucking my thumb just last week. I should also probably mention that just prior to him dropping me off, he told me that he has noticed that i've matured a lot over this past year. hah.
I braved my way across the street and into the building. I asked for directions and ventured onwards. Registering at the design desk, I submitted my brief personal essay. I sat down in the waiting room and turned on my cell phone! apparently i was quite popular this weekend because i had a truckload of messages on my answering machine. After listening to them i read over and tried to verse some possible answers to questions.
Shortly afterwards my name was called early. I followed the helper to the classroom and waited.
About an hour later (excruciating as the aforementioned whining pustule of a girl blabbered off the ears of everyone who cared or cared not to listen). I had my first interview. I enjoyed all of the questions she asked and in return I asked her some questions. She discussed with me the possible fields i could go into. I also told her about my interests in advertising and I felt that Canadian commercials are pathetic (she concurred and said she does advertising so I might be talking about her work. Quickly afterwards she told me she was just teasing me because she teaches advertising and so on.)The interviewer seemed genuinely interested in my work. At one point she actually told me that "your work is really cool! I like it. Your linework is great..." This is probably the first time i have ever heard a professional say that to me. I asked her how she felt the interview went and she replied "You did fine, i don't see why you should have any problems getting in."
The second interviewer was actually an instructor from my previous academic life. Actually i was supposed to have him for design2 but i transferred to another design teacher's class (he was quite upset when i told him this a few years ago). He cut to the chase and first asked me why i was applying (i.e. what are you doing here?). I joked around with him we laughed a bit. I asked him if he wanted to view my sketchbooks and he shook his head and said "I'm going to really skim you because i know you're good and i don't need to see any proof of it." He too said "you did fine." and then went onwards. (the whiny girl had taken at least 40 mins of their time and they were drastically behind schedule).
What was interesting was that i could tell both interviewers knew that my previous program was a so-so program. The fine arts program at U of T seriously needs a reformatting. I didn't hesitate at all to tell them that while I enjoyed my stay at U of T and learned a lot, it wasn't enough to do anything really (other than go for more schooling and becoming a professor or curator. y'know one of those insufferable stuffy academics.) I liked talking to Sandra and Lewis, i really hope i find out the verdict as quickly as possible.
Afterwards I had to write some absurd mini composition on effective spaces based off an article they gave us. Stupid but it didn't determine our acceptance. just purely if our english skills were up to a standard level. Hopefully I get exempted from taking English in first year.
Also, i saw a guy (i think) get rejected on the spot. I think he was showing really old work (from grade 9) or something. I couldn't tell, Sandra was talking (she didn't seem very enthused)so quietly but their interview was done in less than 5 minutes, so i know that couldn't have gone very well. That was a bit unsettling seeing how i had yet to be interviewed.

Monday, February 14, 2005 09:23 a.m.

Maybe someday writing essays won't be so painful.
I'm leaving the house today at around 10ish, aside from the essay i'd say everything is look pretty frickin fun fantastic.

mirror, mirror, on the wall, Sunday, February 13, 2005 09:11 p.m.

WHO IS THE MOST NERVOUS WRECK OF THEM ALL?
I just finished knitting a 'mini toque' folio case for a set of various prints i made back in my renoir days.
Things have come together, my portfolio is pretty well rounded, i have some drawings, a few prints, lots of paintings, photography and a fair share of designwork. I also have 3 sketchbooks, but i can't seem to find one of them right at the moment. All that is left is for me to do what i have been dreading the most, writing the blurb on why i choose ocad.

(the previous title was a billboard i saw + my reaction-i still don't get it.) Friday, February 11, 2005 05:47 p.m.

oh yeah. i forgot. it's "valentines weekend".
On my way to get gas, the radio people made sure to say it wasn't a "big deal" to be single this weekend.
And it probably wouldn't have been such a "big deal" if they hadn't tried to reaffirm to themselves 5 times that being 'single' is okay too.
Whatever. my underthighs are freezing and my toes are falling off.

Don't be cupid, store your junk? HUH? Friday, February 11, 2005 05:47 p.m.

whoa. so i have to be super cheap with myself for the next 6 months if I:
a. get into ocad
b. plan on going to san francisco.
i thought i had it figured out this morning, i made nice calculation tapes showing my old wages and my newer improved earnings (30% more peanut juice). helll oh. I was totally off. Not only did i forget my raise took effect the week before last, this is also mid february(i.e. i only got paid 1 week with the new salary, the previous week was still on the old one.). So i don't have exactly 8 months now. more like 6. or 5 depending on how things go.
I can easily save $7000 by august but originally i wanted to save $10,000 (why? because it's a nice number that's why). I drew up 3 different financial plans. While not working at my desk, i devised that the most i could save up would be $7800. Not bad, this is also factoring my minimal expenses and i fully realize i won't save exactly that amount (there's a few birthdays before august, and i'm sure my car will need a tuning before then). Of course like the life of Siddartha, this would be almost an ascetic extreme (haha say that 4 times fast). After putting away cash and paying bills hahaha i'd have like maybe $200. yeah right. I'm going to play this one by ear.
Still, i've only been working 15 months hm... ah crud. i just checked my bank statement, the last few months since my sister's wedding it's been very sporadic. In the end i'll be about 3 months behind if i do quit by August. shit. i'm glad some months i was overly zealous with my savings account. i'll have to make that up with my tax returns and any miscellaneous money that somehow falls into my lap. I guess i'll have to take up whatever overtime hours i can over the next few months.
K so portfoliowise, things are looking really promising. I still haven't written up my statement, but i did buy a new portfolio case and it's really spacious, i can fit all of my paintings inside. The rest of my stuff is either really small or paper flat. This will be good.
THE END.
Oh and the heater is broken. it was 12 degrees this morning in my house. I'm wearing 2 wool sweaters now. My mom is going on yet another week long retreat tonight and not returning until next friday, so i'm going to be stuck fending for myself (i.e. walking the dogs in the morning and waking up extra early). If things get bad, my sister invited me to stay over for the next week. Which might be great considering my workplace is 15 mins from her house.
Chinese New Years celebrations are going to ensue tomorrow. Big money. Big food. And perhaps lots of red?

Don't be cupid, store your junk? HUH? Friday, February 11, 2005 05:08 p.m.

whoa. so i have to be super cheap with myself for the next 6 months if I:
a. get into ocad
b. plan on going to san francisco.
i thought i had it figured out this morning, i made nice calculation tapes showing my old wages and my newer improved earnings (30% more peanut juice). helll oh. I was totally off. Not only did i forget my raise took effect the week before last, this is also mid february(i.e. i only got paid 1 week with the new salary, the previous week was still on the old one.). So i don't have exactly 8 months now. more like 6. or 5 depending on how things go.
I can easily save $7000 by august but originally i wanted to save $10,000 (why? because it's a nice number that's why). I drew up 3 different financial plans. While not working at my desk, i devised that the most i could save up would be $7800. Not bad, this is also factoring my minimal expenses and i fully realize i won't save exactly that amount (there's a few birthdays before august, and i'm sure my car will need a tuning before then). Of course like the life of Siddartha, this would be almost an ascetic extreme (haha say that 4 times fast). After putting away cash and paying bills hahaha i'd have like maybe $200. yeah right. I'm going to play this one by ear.
Still, i've only been working 15 months hm... ah crud. i just checked my bank statement, the last few months since my sister's wedding it's been very sporadic. In the end i'll be about 3 months behind if i do quit by August. shit. i'm glad some months i was overly zealous with my savings account. i'll have to make that up with my tax returns and any miscellaneous money that somehow falls into my lap. I guess i'll have to take up whatever overtime hours i can over the next few months.
K so portfoliowise, things are looking really promising. I still haven't written up my statement, but i did buy a new portfolio case and it's really spacious, i can fit all of my paintings inside. The rest of my stuff is either really small or paper flat. This will be good.
THE END.
Oh and the heater is broken. it was 12 degrees this morning in my house. I'm wearing 2 wool sweaters now. My mom is going on yet another week long retreat tonight and not returning until next friday, so i'm going to be stuck fending for myself (i.e. walking the dogs in the morning and waking up extra early). If things get bad, my sister invited me to stay over for the next week. Which might be great considering my workplace is 15 mins from her house.
Chinese New Years celebrations are going to ensue tomorrow. Big money. Big food. And perhaps lots of red?

Tuesday, February 8, 2005 05:27 p.m.

frig. i can't buy those boots from that site because they don't ship to canada even though we're down the street. damnit. i always have to pick the one thing that's impossible to get.
solution: if i go to san francisco this summer, bring my credit card and leave several hundred dollars in my chequings account. hahaha.

it's come to this: Monday, February 7, 2005 09:33 p.m.

I've been thinking about it for some time now, if things go well with the interview and ocad, i will buy myself something really special. I mean obviously i'm going to buy Xenosaga Episode 2, because i'd be crazy not to. however i'm compiling a list of things. fairly pricey things but i'll only pick one from the list. here goes
1. these boots. I think i've been playing too much xenosaga lately...KILLER aaaah!!!
2. I wanted to get a Manhattan Portage backpack. The camouflage variety would be awesome. However i'm starting to have second thoughts on a backpack..
3. I'm sort of tempted to get a Mondaine watch. (i'm thinking model no.A658.30306.11SBB but there are so many other great designs that i really enjoy..)
yes. all frivolous or strangely practical? all extravagant. but such is my taste.
Those boots are calling me by my chinese name. oh my gosh. anxiety anxiety. next week. aagh. i hate mondays.

there's no way this is happening. Monday, February 7, 2005 08:03 p.m.

It's monday and i've already started drinking. 2 pear margaritas, several parts vodka, some overripe pears, limeade concentrate and mint. all blended in delicious unison. Whatever quack scientist said that January 27th or 25th is supposedly the most depressing day in the world, obviously never woke up in southern ontario on Monday February the 7th of 2005. Oddly enough it was unanimously depressing everywhere today.
I think it must've been either the of floppy disk grey skies, bone penetrating chilled mists, the sense of impending doom only a monday can bring, the banality of office life, the fact that i haven't slept decently in over a week, orthe revelation that where you are could be where you will be for the rest of human eternity(emphasis on 'could'), or perhaps because you just really hate mondays. For me, i believe it's a combination of all of the above and the fact that a week from now, will be valentine's day. More importantly, i will have my portfolio interview and some english proficiency test afterwards. This will make or break my psyche for 2005.
It's supposedly my year according to the Chinese Lunar calendar. the year of the rooster! Mine and everyone else born in 1981. A very important year indeed. let's hope some good 'ol fashioned chinese superstition will come in handy for a change.
I got my hair cut last saturday with my sister. The hawk has been evened out and no longer is the wild mullet it once was. dinner consisted of rotisserie chicken (swiss chalet) and a profoundly disturbing conversation with my sister. sometimes i wonder if it really happened.
Right now the pressure is really on, but i think if i get these last minute things in order i should be primed like a canvas is for paint.
Things i need to do (still):
-organize my portfolio. this includes, indexing/coding my sketchbooks to match my work (must buy tabs).
-anticipate questions the interviewer will ask. Think of good answers. Ones that show honesty and thought-and take less than 2 mins to say.
-write up the mini essay required for the interview. (250 words)
-install programs and print off design assignments.
I know i should have had this done a while ago, i had the time, there is no excuse really so i won't bother rationalizing it to myself.
I also need to get a new portfolio case, i need something that's fairly heavier duty and can hold more than my current portfolio. I'll wait until this friday, when i get paid. Speaking of which, this week's cheque will be with my new salary,now i'm rich.

no.1 best way of getting out of work Tuesday, February 1, 2005 09:08 p.m.

So fall 2003 i got out of work because there were paint fumes stinking up the entire building. This winter we received a bomb threat.
I knew about it but didn't do much. I continued to work and finally one of my coworkers wanted to go for a lunch break so i went downstairs with her. Regretting every moment of it (i just wanted to finish my work and get out.) Justin called Kiran's cell and we didn't believe him when he said everyone was evacuating (nobody was exiting the building from where we were looking).
So yes, it was valid. On my desk right at the moment is a pile of my work. Completely against the company policy of leaving confidential information outside, there is nothing i could do about it.
i've also taken up to really disliking the tattling woman in my department. she has told on me the upteenth time, this time she told the management's management. oh boy, the weeks before my much anticipated departure will be so loaded with mischievous antics, she'll think the devil himself has come down for month long stay. I want her to cry and smash another mug before i leave. That will be the most satisfying departure ever.
I should probably also mention, i flirted with the idea of luring her into the cloakroom and locking her in during the bomb threat. I believe the exact conversation i was having was this:
"i don't want to die."
"yeah well, i know someone who does. the question now is, how do i lure camille into the closet?"
seriously aside from me being irritated with justin's self centered concern for his own personal well being, i really am quite irritated with this woman. She has a galaxy of bad karma heading her way.

oh i remembered the thing i forgot Saturday, January 29, 2005 05:21 p.m.

during the seminar
"yeah how old are you? i'm 15"
"yeah i'm 16."
i'll have to get over the fact that i'll be going to school with a bunch of minors for the first 2 years. oh boy.

Portfolio clinic Rating: Saturday, January 29, 2005 05:03 p.m.

It was fun going downtown on my own. I haven't done that in a while, or take the GO Train. I sort of miss it, ah if only it were free.
Overall i'm relieved that i went. There was an open forum at the beginning which basically cleared up everything and from that i know how to sort my stuff and what to do next. Seriously i thought i had everything figured out, the hour and a half spent on discussion really knocked everything into place.
The actual clinic that i took in Figure Drawing, was nothing short of boring. The teacher needed a watch, i was going to lend her mine if she forgot another thing. She forgot lunch, thought class was over when there was still one hour left. ah then there was the whole issue of poor useage of time. I could tell she didn't really have much planned because a bunch of people, myself included after about two and a half hours were completely finished and were wondering if gesture drawings would ensue. Nope. "you can add shading if you want or do another drawing." Bah, in 30 minutes? forget it.
Funny point of the day:
During class the girl beside me asked if i went to OCAD. There was some other thing too, but i forgot it, i really have this whole 'artsy look' down pat without even knowing it. dah-yam.
So next for my application process is basically fine tuning everything according to the notes i scrawled during the seminar and i should be ready for this monster.

i say BRR Thursday, January 27, 2005 06:15 p.m.

who pays $240+taxes for a pair of JEANS?!
apparently I do.
I just bought my first pair of non-sweatshop made jeans. As a result they're ridiculously expensive. I guess i'm just made of money.
hahaha HOLD UP. Actually i got them on sale for $30. Evidently they were made for a person 7ft tall.
Things are nicer now that my mom and sister have come back from italy. Aside from getting gorgeous presents from them, the rush to get to work in the morning isn't quite so hectic.
Ah life. Well this Saturday is my first and only workshop at OCAD before the big interview. DUN DUN DUN.

YEAHRAY YAHRAY! Sunday, January 23, 2005 10:07 p.m.

2005: the year of the ROOSTER.
YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH.

It's like this: Saturday, January 22, 2005 09:41 p.m.

Asians get the worst depiction in north america, we're either:
nerds
martial artists
jerks/bitches/sluts
or william hung.

bingo bango the return of the furious instinct Thursday, January 20, 2005 10:21 p.m.

ohmigosh i just found the cd containing the layout/editorial i designed for an article about a desert in china. ka-ching.

le relief. Thursday, January 20, 2005 10:14 p.m.

well whatever instinct it was that told me to keep looking for random cds,i'm glad i went with it. I found the cd-rw that contained the raw files of my 'diversity 2004' poster. thank goodness for that. as long as i have a couple of computer assisted work, i'm fine.

mirror mirror on the wall, Thursday, January 20, 2005 09:48 p.m.

WHO IS THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF THEM ALL?
YOU ARE!
I just found out that when i reformatted my computer, i somehow forgot to add all of 'my documents' to the backup disks. apparently music, photos, software, and anime were all i could think of when it came to backing up my hard drive. i'm not totally fucked. just a little. my resume and endless cover letters are completely replaceable. However the remainder of my design assignments aren't. Fortunately i found one of my assignments on a zip disk in my desk. UNFORTUNATELY the poster that i designed last year was among the many other design related documents that was forgotten in the reformat of 2004. shit x 5000.
All this because i needed to find my resume tonight...

i can't watch my jackson 5 video anymore! Tuesday, January 18, 2005 10:52 p.m.

I've been assembling my portfolio. Thankfully one of the few advantages to having a BA in fine art is that all of those stupid assignments i saved are actually worth something now. I just salvaged an artist's catalogue that i redesigned (for janet werner) and the print folio i did on knitting. I remember the suggestion for improving that folio was to knit a sleeve to hold the items rather than making an elaborate cardboard box for it (what i had originally).
Among the pile of stuff from 2003, i also found my jackson 5 cd i burnt on a sole cd. It is so painful to watch this, and yet i want to show this to my friends at work. I know the pain will be mortifying but the laughter, oh the laughter.

Sunday, January 16, 2005 06:19 p.m.

People are too quick to call something a 'masterpiece'. don't be afraid to call it as it is! Yes! it's garbage! yes there were plot holes! yes it made no sense! No that's not the point!
I've condemned my dogs from sleeping on my bed. This morning oscar ran up and down my bed at least 3 times waking me up far too early. The 9 days ahead shall be interesting. Oh how i wish my company would just give me a severance package of 9 months pay and i could quit now and do something else.
I now know what i want to do if i go to San Francisco (yesyesyesyes), i realllly want to go to the culinary academy and take some classes like my sister did ages ago (mind you, she doesn't cook now..). fun in the sun hellla yeah! I'll talk to my mom and uncle when they get back from italy. I want to know when their courses are starting. If i have to end my contract earlier (like july) oh well, no big deal.

burn this city! Friday, January 14, 2005 06:01 p.m.

new year, new yearr, new earrin, new earrings. and new music.
I bought the Franz Ferdinand cd w/ bonus disc, and K-OS's special box set cd that comes with his debut disc and the most current one (the second one).
(oh my gosh, i'm listening to F.F. it's amazing)
I also purchased the most difficult pair of earrings to put on the human earlobes in the known universe. I found these "mousetrap hinge" earrings. Basically they're the standard captive bead earring, but instead of a metal or glass bead that is captive between the two prongs of the hoop, it's a coil that has the ends flaring out in different directions like that of a mousetrap hinge, or any springed hinge for that matter. The first one took me about 5 mins to put in and the second one took me another 15 minutes.
(i also bought smaller mini stretchers, although i suspect that they're the next size up from my current holes. Also they're slightly mismatched, one is a few millimeters wider, so i think i'll go back when they've restocked and find the corresponding hoops.)
my mom and sister are going to italy this weekend. i'm home alone with the dogs for the next 9 days, and i have to get the oil changed in my car soon. like this weekend or next week.

it will come to me later Tuesday, January 11, 2005 08:47 p.m.

I'm restless at work. With the fast approaching interview date and portfolio clinic (jan 29) the sensation of life is resurfacing in my dormant body. It's like i'm finally getting back to my life before i abruptly turned it off over a year ago.
Someone who used to be at my work recently left with his boyfriend to go live in Paris, France. His boyfriend is the rich husband while he's the wife who eats bon bons, shops and drinks wine while smoking at night. And while i was only jealous of the fact that he wasn't at 2 Robert Speck in Mississauga, it started getting me thinking about how much i haven't travelled in the last 2 years. I suddenly had the urge to plunge myself out in someplace foreign. I immediately consulted tiff about this. I was a little surprised that she was all for me going on a trip solo.
The downside is that i've travelled the world a lot up until my late teens so there's only a few places i really want to visit for this 'coming of age' journey. I think my ideal place is one that has a very unique culture, is moderately priced (haha hey i'm funding this!), and isn't someplace totally mainstream to the idea of 'culture' (like France or Italy-both of which i've visited twice.) I think the only reason why i'd consider Europe is because i can speak French. haha.
The following are the places i'd consider trekking around:
-Australia/New Zealand (top of my list. i've only flown around here en route to Hong Kong)
-The easter Islands (tikiriffic!)
-some lesser known places in Canada. road trip style.
-South America, maybe the less violent areas..
-lesser known places in the states, i think i have an uncertain attraction to these spots.
During dinner today i discussed this with my mom, and i suddenly remembered a camping trip near the Northwest Territories where you paint the scenery and stay at the cabins and live in a commune type of environment. I think this would be an amazing experience, most definitely this is a very likely possibility. Then there is also good 'ol San Francisco. If i were to go there i'd go for the month and probably take up more jewellery courses, it'd be one huge shopping trip and i always love hanging out with my uncle and aunt.
I'm hoping i can hold off on thinking about this until after my interview, then i can figure out where to go from there. I think SF would be the easiest because i could always plan a trip there granted my SF family isn't out of the country or preoccupied.
My mom also suggested Alaska, which would be really great but... i think i'd get bored after a week.

i'm one week 'in arrears' Monday, January 10, 2005 08:13 p.m.

This will be the last entry about 2004. after this 2005 and onward ho!
The problem with writing based off of memories from over a week ago is, memories are ephemeral. They sort of dissolve in the active/inactive consciousness over time and as you intend to jot them down, eventually they're reduced to grains.
New Years Eve 2004 was..: tepid. Mercer Union's Dirtier New Year's Eve Party left me feeling so lukewarm. The limit for these events is 2. I did mercer in 2003 and even then it was okay. After work on friday, i zipped over to my sister's house, we relaxed for a few hours before heading downtown. We ate, dined and drank at my sister's place.
Eventually we bolted from Downtown Sister's house. and reached the crowded club at 11:45. Got in. Drowned in oceans of shadows, sweat and smoke. The word was out, this place was crowded beyond comprehension. at least 5 people per square inch (like i said, beyond comprehension). I don't even want to get into the details such as how i ran into my teacher and his expression was that of "oh shit, he saw me" and his stupid concubine saying "oh you're the student that's jay's stalker" to the fact that my buzz had worn off getting there or to the fact that everyone was getting hit on but me.
I think this was the only highlight of mercer:
I walked in, and as i was being shoved around, i sorta knocked this guy's beer onto the floor. I thought "oh shit keep walking", i sorta mumbled 'sorry' and then continued to walk and just looked disgusted at the beer splatters on my sleeve as i wiped them off. It was such a bitch move. I could see him from the corner of my eye glaring at me. I tried to avoid said individual all night but i kept on running into him. At one point i went to the alcohol booth to buy tickets. He was there. When he saw me i could feel the death glare. I bought two tickets. Two for me, ZZZero for you. Oh crap who am i kidding? The fifth time i saw him, i tapped his shoulder and gave him my $5 ticket. bleh. I turned around only to have him pull my arm and shake my hand and say "happy new year". Oh shucks. one enemy made and resolved before the night begun.
My sisters and co. left at around 2:30am. everyone made sure to give me the cash they owed for the tickets i bought. This came in handy as i needed to take a cab home. I was a little nervous but i figured nothing could be easier than cabbing it home. I just had to remember the directions while a bit drunk. I tore off a coat check poster and got my sister to scribble them out.
I hung around and danced with my friends. At one point my friend sylvina and i were slouching into the cushions head to head just mumbling back and forth. I forgot what we were talking about. I do remember eating a few raw cranberries with very strong vodka drinks.
At around 5 or so when we all decided to bail, my friends caught the street car going in the opposite direction from me, and i was left on my own to hunt for a taxi....for about 15 mins!
The following day was superior. My sister and I went to her place and watched tv and i took a nap. We went back to Toronto, picked up downtown sister and husband, scuttled over to . Man! this is my kinda crowd. I think i'm just sick of hanging around kids. I like the lounge and older crowd. Talking is where it's at. That's it, conversations are the new mercer union. I met my older sister's first year roomate from university. The last time we met, i was 10. All i know is that she said i was the most precocious and caustic 10 yr old she knew and that i was suddenly 'cool'. haha whatever. i'm loving it but i'm not denying it either. Catherine, my sister's ex-roomate; lives in London, co-owns a gallery, has gone through countless reinventions of herself, went to the London School of Economics on scholarships only, has developed a british accent, has expensive taste and wears tight jeans in brown knee high boots. That night I conversed with friends of friends, drank pear martinis (hello waist size!), and i learned that 'a pearl necklace' was not just burlingtonspeak.
My other sister (the one that has everything going for her and is very eligible) was animatedly chatting with Catherine's brother. Sometime during that night, Catherine and I knowingly teamed up to hook those two up. Hopefully something happens, i like this guy and think he'd be sweet for my sister.
Catherine also was incredibly adamant on me going to London for school (in particular painting-haha yeah right!) and she professed how school should not be paid for by students but rather by scholarships only. I emailed her last week with regards to her bro and my sis, and she replied with a slightly absurd email that left me with no reply to this very day (less than 5 days ago). I never know what to say to someone when they're so dramatic and over the top in their mannerisms. And yet i attract them like vultures to carrion.
I shaved my sides yesterday, they're extra short. My hair is super mohawky, and almost out of control. I've booked the very last portfolio clinic and my interview is 2 weeks after that. Sometime in between those 2 weeks i would like to book an appointment with yeemi again. i'm sure she'll have something nasty to say because i refused to get her to cut my hair every 3 weeks.

Friday, January 7, 2005 12:10 p.m.

My new years entry is a week overdue. i will get to that i promise. there's just two things right now:
-i almost got into a car accident yesterday.
-i've gained 10lbs from the holiday season.

the last shop of the year. Thursday, December 30, 2004 08:39 p.m.

The last purchase of 2004 is:
-a RED+ (REinforced Denim) blazer. I tried to look up the company on the net, but it yielded nothing. All i know is that there are lots of japanese tags that came attached on it. And that when I tried on another blazer of the same make (green w/ blue plaid) it was nearly impossible to button up. I think the sizing is definitely Asian. I normally fit anything medium. in some weird instances i've been known to wear an extra small (American Eagle is very generous in their sizing..). However medium in Asia is definitely equivalent to small-extra small. I found an XL and i was able to breathe in it.
oops, nevermind, i just found it RED+
-a pair of darkish jeans (buffalo). I need to either hem them or cut them. These damn jeans were meant for someone 6'2.
I'm definitely wearing the blazer for tomorrow. Not the jeans. Fortunately tomorrow's forecast is said to be record breakingly warm so i won't need to wear the usual down filled attire either.
As for actual plans for tomorrow, still very undecided. But i want to the same party as last year.

almost a new year, almost a new computer! Tuesday, December 28, 2004 09:16 p.m.

After two years i finally reformatted my computer. It was on it's last legs/breath/vital signs of life.
Here are the list of things that started to break down:
-the numeric keypad stopped working (yes, even with the numlock key on)
-icons weren't appearing as icons, they showed up as white squares.
-hella SLOW
-my ipod wasn't mounting.
Actually that was my main reason for reformatting the mac. My sister gave me a sweeeet ipod deck transistor for my car and i've been dying to use it for the last few days but i couldn't because my computer was calculating the mass of the universe, coordinating my clothing and telling the time or something. Tiff thinks it was spyware, i just happen to think it was simply wear and tear.
3 backup dvds, a cd, some leftover turkey and an hour later my computer is wiped clean. Starting from the beginning was surprisingly good. The internet connection was instant and re-updating my system proved easier than expected.
I finally did some shopping for the ol' self today. Good deals and i've realized that there's life outside of club monaco hahaha. (although there is a purple velvet blazer that i sorta wanna try on... yeah, yeah, yeah.)
New Years plans for this weekend. Nothing so far. Work tomorrow. Half day on Friday. What to do? What to do?
Well if nothing happens, i may finally sit down and teach myself how to crochet. My other sister gave me a good book on the subject. I've been thinking about crocheting motifs and sewing them in clusters on some of my t-shirts. (it could be neat).
Oh yeah, and that same sister is pregnant. i knew it all along.

sleigh ride, sleigh ride, sleigh ride, Friday, December 24, 2004 05:00 p.m.

This year my main gift wrapping is genius. I declare that i have the worst gift wrapping abilities, corners always get fudged up and the paper is always creased, however i conceived a flawless and very neat solution to this dilemma.
When i went back to club monaco last week to pick up gift boxes, i misunderstood what the salesperson meant by 'we have bottoms only'. I thought she meant they only had boxes for pants/skirts (at the time i thought it was a bit weird that they'd make boxes specifically for tops and for bottoms...).
When i got home that day i realized what she meant was, they only had HALF of a box. the 'top' was missing. oh crap.
And so my reusable 'couture boxes' were born:
First i lined the box with the white tissue paper that was provided by the store.
Then I neatly folded the garments and packaged the goodies in an impressive layout inside the box bottom. I then tucked another sheet of tissue paper over the contents.
I proceeded to rummage through my recycling bin for large boxes of cardboard. I measured and cut out rectangles large enough to fit into the top of the box bottom. After a few alterations, i wrapped the cardboard rectangles (it was reminiscent of covering a textbook). After that was done, i positioned and fit the new lids into each box.
I think these things are great because i can reuse them or my family can if they want. Also i had my mother in mind who always complains that there is a mess of wrapping paper after Christmas (which there totally is not).
Lastly i made tags out of vintage multicolored construction paper pads from past science projects (circa 1980 something) wrote a personalized note on each one (this took at least an hour-or felt like an hour..) drew an outline of an interesting tag, cut out the tag and laced it into some packaging twine that i found.
The finished piece looks really sharp, the box part is a glossy black and the lids are different colors/patterns. I thought the packaging twine i used was a clever concept-like receiving a package in the mail or something.
This is also probably the first time that i've had a concept with the presents. Each of them is comprised of multiple items that make up one piece (well all except my brother-in-law.)
i realize this wrapping probably took longer than regular wrapping would have, but the end result is something that is really just quite neat.
I did have a few presents that i had to wrap because i didn't have a box or something to hold it in. And the jobs i did on those presents were abysmal. I used a red paper for this one present and i refolded the sides so much that the red coloring flaked off.
My mom's present was tapeless and painless, i took the gift and found the largest giftbag i could find (it was from club monaco) took some purple and fuchsia tissue paper that was just lying around in the closet and presto, easiest packaging job ever. She actually wrapped her gifts this year, which is a huge surprise seeing how she's an adamant advocat of the gift bag.
Happy Holidays. I think i'm one of the only people in the world who enjoys Christmas. I think it's because i'm still a kid.

i'm RICH Tuesday, December 21, 2004 10:24 p.m.

well well well, i got the contract. Starting in January i'll be working at a higher wage, and what it boils down to is this:
-i'll be getting paid every 2 weeks instead of weekly (boo)
-however, i shall make something like an extra $100 a week (yi-haw).
The only thing is, for the whole transferrance of whatever it is, i'll have to go 3 weeks without pay and then all at once on the fourth week(HELLO!).
Portfolio fever has hit, i've been working on my drawings and brushing up those portrait skills. Last weekend i painfully attempted to finish a religious painting of a childlike Jesus for my mom. I think i ruined it. Whatever, i always thought painting it was lame but still... i should have left it (the original rendition was when i was still pretty good). I'll have to try it again later this week. Painting may still be too much of a leap for me right now...
Piano practicing has been coming along, i'm going to make it my goal to be able to play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. I got my mom to play it, her sight reading is amazing, she told me by the time she was 16 she could easily cut through that piece problem free. She still did a pretty good job considering she hadn't played it in several years. In the meantime, it's still the Porcupine dance and the studies for me.
Also my experiences at OLD NAVY have been nothing short of terrible. I went to their store online and saw this amazing jacket that i wanted to investigate (namely for it's sale price in Canadian funds and the style up close) to my utter shockless disappointment, apparently they didn't sell it at that particular store. It's just as well, I shouldn't be buying anything for myself this close to Christmas. i bought another thing to complete my sister's present. Strangely have a feeling the older one is going to be jealous again this year.

grocery list style!!! Wednesday, December 15, 2004 10:07 p.m.

-half day today (woo?)
-completed all christmas shopping for siblings and the one in-law.
-Aliyah gave me a belated birthday present (a tie consisting of a rainbow of primaries, hilfiger, and probably pretty expensive-$75? she said there was more, so i got a little freaked and got her some nice classy gear for x-mas. I hope she likes it.)
-Spent entirely too much this Christmas. Well it feels that way at least. I've clocked in overtime hours shopping at least 3 times in the last 4 days.
-my letter/package from OCAD finally arrived! I have to prepare an essay, my portfolio, my mind, lies, etc.
the date of the interview is: February 14th at 1:45
(oh man, i just looked at the calendar, it's on a monday!! shit!).
The letter received says that the interview process will take up to 3 hours. This is good. Excellent even. This kind of stress is my ambrosia. My hands and mind have been accumulating dust over the last 2 years of stagnancy. I'm going to book the last two portfolio workshop dates to add something to my current one.
I also have to write a TOEFL test. shit. I hate tests. I better rock the house on Valentine's day.
-Also I think the villainous verruca on my left pinky finger has finally been slain. It's good to have lil pinky sinistra back. Welcome home!

day 2 Wednesday, December 15, 2004 05:21 a.m.

this is my second day during the WEEK that i've gone to bed early. It's strange. i feel... the opposite of exahausted...and i'm starting to have dreams again... bizarre!

there was a time when this wasn't a chore. Tuesday, December 14, 2004 05:12 p.m.

I did a bulk of christmas shopping yesterday. I won't say where or what i bought at the risk of revealing the surprise to my sister/s and co.
Things are supposed to be easy now. I've applied to school and now it's working on the portfolio/waiting game until the interview.
So what's the difficulty right now? nothing. I still want exodus from the office. I still like drawing (although i hardly do anything art related these days). I still want to go into design. what am i getting at? things are bothering me. It's not that complicated, is work getting to me and i'm just not doing the usual vent? Yes, It must be that. The christmas party was horrible for several reasons:
a. kiran made a total ass of herself: I mean prior to the party she's been getting on my nerves. I started to notice how desperate she is to fit in, to groove to the mold in to earn serious respect. I have a feeling that because the rest of us are bold individuals she excercises and outdoes herself in order to stand out.
For example: A girl at the lunch table sneezed. Kiran says "gesundheit" (in an incorrect accent), the person replies asking what it means. The girl comments that "german is soo cool!" So what does Kiran say? "OH If you want to hear German you should come to my house, my parents can speak German"
Of course the girl is all intrigued "yeah right!!!?", then "K" says that she used to know German... back when she was German and not East Indian, when her name was Inga Apfeldussenvienerschnitzel, not Kiran "i'm totally Indian i smell funky from the spices i eat and nothing but!" Verma.
Now this isn't a case of jealousy despite the obvious superficial appearance. There is nothing she has that is of envy to me (well maybe her star earrings... but that's it.).
Now with regards to the Christmas company party, there was alcohol served. Whenever alcohol consumption was the topic of choice Krappy Verma would always boast to me that she's the world's cheapest drunk. Like a war vet proud of a purple heart, she thrusted the badge in my face "half a glass of wine goes straight to my head and i'm drunk!!" She drove to the party with someone else. I don't even want to waste the text explaining how i tried to warn her that people were trying to get her drunk, and how afterwards when the party was over she was pretending to be sober and acting like she wasn't drunk. The biggest fallacy aside had to be her 'i'm sober' speech. No drunk actually consciously believes that they're sober unless they are actually sober, and in that case they're no longer a drunk. When she tried to convince us of her sobriety, it was like a caucasian trying to convice a group of black people that